No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
