i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
