i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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