I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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