brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
