You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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