dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
