The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have fence marks all over my body
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm really busy with my period
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