we're blogging at a bar
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
