You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
