Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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