I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
