I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
