i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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