i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
