Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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