we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
