pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
