literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize