I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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