No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
