I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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