it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
