google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
