Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize