so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
someone owes me an orgasm
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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