What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
