Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Vodka?
Forever.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
