Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
