sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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