I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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