I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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