apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
