I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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