Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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