I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize