Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
