The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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