this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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