Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think my fart just growled at me.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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