I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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