i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
