i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
