He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
