you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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