I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who died my cat blue again?
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