I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
