So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
