I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize