What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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