why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
