You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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