I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
