Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
