No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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