just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize