...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
