dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
