i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fuck appropriateness.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
