i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that sheβs hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize