john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
