well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
