wrigley field is MILF paradise
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
