Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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