Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
