It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you made out with another girl for some wings
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize