i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
