I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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