I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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