I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want to be your penis for a week.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
